"Shouldn't you feed the lepers, Supply Side Jesus?"

 

"No, Thomas. That would just make them lazy."

 

"Then shouldn't you at least heal them, Supply Side Jesus?"

 

"No, James. Leprosy is a matter of personal responsibility. If people knew I was healing lepers, there would be no incentive to avoid leprosy."

 

                           -Al Franken, from Lies...pp. 316-317

 

It pains me that I even have to write an entry entitled "Al Franken on Jesus Christ." I mean, it's bad enough that Mr. Franken has to constantly make a mockery of followers of Christ, but to go after the big man himself? That's just petty. Now, as always, Al Franken can do no wrong. He would argue that his unflattering and blasphemous depiction of our Lord is meant to challenge our conservative perceptions in light of His teachings. The Supply Side Jesus comic is a sick joke; it's The Last Temptation of Christ without the empathy.

 

When Jesus first makes his appearance in the comic, he proclaims that ten craftsmen were able to feed their families because of the purchase of his luxurious robe. Apparently, Pastor Al is trying to illustrate the absurdity of the trickle down theory. Jesus goes on to say, "The goldsmith who made the trim and the filigree was able to hire an apprentice because I had paid him so handsomely." Then Jesus boasts about how people benefited from his haircut, manicure and pedicure. This rubbish is nothing new for Pastor Al, though. He has been griping about supply-side economics since his first political screed was released in 1996. Here he is implying that conservatives are hypocrites for proclaiming faith in Christ while endorsing an economic theory that, in his opinion, favors the rich. Jesus, after all, was poor, right?

 

So does supply side economics conflict with the teachings of Jesus? Of course not. It isn't based on the teachings of Jesus, but it does not contradict them, either. I deal with supply side economics in another entry, but I'll stick with the spiritual message here. Jesus easily could have made himself the man in Al Franken's comic. He could have been wealthy and powerful, with legions bowing before him. In Matthew 4:9, the devil said to Jesus, "All these things I will give thee, if thou will fall down and worship me." Jesus replied by saying, "Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, 'Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and Him only shalt thou serve.'"

 

One of Jesus' central teachings was the danger of greed, not wealth. The supply side Jesus of Pastor Al's comic proclaims, "It is easier for a rich man to enter Heaven seated comfortably on the back of a camel, than it is for a poor man to pass through the eye of a needle." Obviously, this is a bastardized rendition of Matthew 19:24, where Jesus states that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again, this is a warning against greed, not wealth. People like to quote the famous cliche, "Money is the root of all evil." Well, biblically, that quote is incorrect, because the entire verse reads that "The love of money is the root of all evil [emphasis added], which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows" (1 Timothy 6:10). Money has the power to corrupt those who allow themselves to be enslaved by the selfish pursuit of it, and it is from that corruption that the evil arises.

 

According to Supply Side Jesus, "If you are prosperous on Earth, that means that God is rewarding your rugged individualism. If you are poor, it is a sign that God frowns on your reliance on handouts." Now does anybody honestly believe that that was Ronald Reagan's message? Does anyone believe that to be George W. Bush's message? Only irrational liberals who want to believe it in order to fuel their predisposed hatred.

 

Al Franken doesn't want you to believe that the lower classes benefited from supply side economics under the administration of Ronald Reagan, but they did, and the evidence for it is overwhelming (again, I deal with that on my Reaganomics page). Al Franken doesn't want you to believe that lower classes are benefiting from George W. Bush's tax cuts, but they are, and the evidence for it is overwhelming (I deal with that on my George W. Bush page).

 

Let's go back to Supply Side Jesus' stance on lepers (see top of page). On PlanetFranken, the Republican Party is a big country club where thousands of Ebenezer Scrooge clones get together and discuss how they can serve their interests by screwing the poor. During the time of Jesus, leprosy was the epidemic in Israel, and Jesus extended his hand to those inflicted. Then if Pastor Al's implication is correct, our current Republican president should be ignoring whatever epidemic is plaguing us right now. Thank God Al Franken is dead wrong on this one.

 

The biggest and fastest-growing epidemic in the world right now is the AIDS virus. You can sort of call it our modern day leprosy. People are dying from AIDS every single day, and it has been reported that one in every nine people in Africa carries the virus. So is President Bush sitting on his throne, saying "AIDS is a matter of personal responsibility," and "If people knew I was trying to cure AIDS, there would be no incentive to avoid AIDS?" Absurd! Let's do something that Al Franken doesn't do often enough. Let's look at the facts:

 

From whitehouse.gov:

 

In his 2003 State of the Union address, President Bush announced the Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, a five-year, $15 billion initiative to turn the tide in combating the global HIV/AIDS pandemic. This commitment of resources will help the most afflicted countries in Africa and the Caribbean wage and win the war against HIV/AIDS, extending and saving lives. Specifically, the initiative is intended to:

 

 -Prevent 7 million new infections.

-Treat 2 million HIV-infected people.

-Care for 10 million HIV-infected individuals and AIDS orphans.

 

Wow. Supply Side Jesus would be disgusted.

 

I particularly love the frame where Supply Side Jesus is throwing coins into the enthusiastic crowd and declaring, "Twenty shekels for anyone who votes for me!" Wasn't it Pastor Al's hero, Bill Clinton, who offered people overnight stays in the White House in exchange for political advancement contributions? I believe I read that in Ann Coulter's book, Slander, and Al Franken certainly hasn't objected to it. Just a thought.

 

To sum it all up, I'm not trying to dispute Al Franken's views on the effectiveness of supply side economics (at least not in this particular entry). He has every right to disagree with that particular approach. The thing that upsets me is his representation of our cherished Lord and Savior to create a spurious connection between economic conservatism and religious hypocrisy. It's garbage! It's an insult to all of us who actually choose to live our lives by biblical principles! Al Franken cannot stand the fact that the majority of God-fearing Christians support the Republican Party (as polls reveal time and time again), and so he has decided to attack us by using our Lord in a metaphor that desecrates the political affiliation we hold dear. Not only is that completely infantile, but it gives us strong insight into Al's true motivation behind such books as Lies and Rush Limbaugh is a Big, Fat Idiot. As he declares on page 107 of Lies, "I F---ing Hate Those Right-Wing Motherf---ers!" Now tell me, is this a man who genuinely cares about the poor? Is this a man who is motivated by compassion for the oppressed? A regular Oscar Schindler? Let the evidence speak for itself. This is a man who is motivated by spitefulness and hatred. Truly compassionate liberals should be ashamed that such a man is speaking on their behalf. At the risk of being audacious, I can't help but liken Pastor Al's intentions to those of Judas Iscariot:

 

Then saith one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, which should betray him, "Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor?" This he said, not that he cared for the poor; but because he was a thief, and had the bag, and bare what was put therein.

                           -John 12:4-6

 

I know that's very harsh, and I may grow to regret making the comparison, but it's important to consider. Like Judas Iscariot, Al Franken has feigned a concern for ordinary people in order to camouflage his true, self-serving intentions. Jesus (the real Jesus) said in Matthew chapter 7, "A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them." Think about that. If you are a fair-minded person, and you want to understand Al Franken's intentions, just look critically at his work and what he is trying to accomplish. It's sad, really.

 

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